I Shall Call You Thing!
by Habeous Corpus
Summary: How exactly did the Cat in The Hat team up with the Things? This story explains it.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N— Okay, so I was in this play a (long) while ago, and I pretty much pulled a Jojo every waking moment. I was constantly daydreaming! Here is one of them.**

**I Shall Name You – Thing!**

The Cat in the Hat was out walking on the streets of Nool on a cold and blustery morning. He wasn't going anywhere; he just liked to be around all the Jungle Citizens. He paused to look at a curious creature. He (or was it a she?) was all in red, with electric blue hair. The little thing was performing acrobatic tricks, and the Cat decided to join it. Right after back flipping in tandem, the Cat felt a hand in his pocket. Another creature looking just like his newly found friend had a hold of his wallet. The two looked at each other and took off down a side alley. The Cat wondered where exactly they were going, so he followed. He didn't care really about his wallet, because he carried nothing in it; he carried it to feel grown-up.

Through the alleys they went, until they came to a hidey-hole in the wall. The creatures went in, but the Cat stayed at the doorway, and eavesdropped. A large man sat in the smoky room. "What have you brought to me?" The creature with the wallet offered its booty with a hopeful edge. "Ah, good! Good, a wallet. I was afraid that you brought me more garbage." This last sentence was said with a razor-sharp edge. He opened the wallet and shook it. "Empty? You brought me an empty wallet? You little…" With that, he began lashing out a the little creatures.

The Cat rarely got angry, but this was one time that his blood boiled. He strode into the little room. "Stop! You are horrible! It's not their fault the wallet is empty. It's my wallet!"

The man looked astonished at the Cat's presence. "Wha—"

The Cat continued his tirade. "If you aren't going to be nice, then I will. I will be their friend forever, if you won't."

Obviously, the man liked this idea, because he rubbed his hands in the prospect of money. "Three gazillion dollars, per."

"How about me not telling on you?" Another reason the Cat's wallet was empty was because he had no money to put in it.

The man pouted, and then relented. "All right, go with him. Get out of here."

The little creatures seemed in shock. They looked at the Cat, and at the man. Then they stuck their tongues out at their old master and skipped away with their new friend.

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"Well, it's kind of small, but we should be able to make do," the Cat babbled, nervous about bringing his new friends home for the first time. However, the two creatures didn't hear him. They were too busy marveling at their new home. One reached out to touch a picture, and the other one smacked its hand away. Obviously, they were still a little shy. "No, no, it's okay. This is home now. You can touch anything you like. You know, you need a name. How about Fred and Charles?"

They looked at him and started laughing.

"Okay, how about… Stephen and Nicholas?"

They laughed even harder.

"Wait a minute, I've got it! I shall name you – Thing! Thing 1 and Thing 2."

Thing 1 and Thing 2 stopped laughing and nodded their approval. Then they started wandering around the small apartment. One headed to the kitchen, while Two puttered around the bedroom.

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Nine hours and 77 messes later, the Cat was very happy about his new roommates. The Things knew how to have fun! They loved running and jumping, and playing around. Best of all, they were _messy!_ The Cat felt like he was with his brothers and sisters. However, all that zaniness made them tired. "All right, bedtime." The Things instantly took off to the bedroom. The Cat ate a bowl of milk, and followed after them. When he went into the bedroom, he felt a little sad. The Things had curled up into the corner of the room, with only a thin blanket. Both were asleep, so he picked them up, and deposited them in his bed. He'd clean the Shlopp off the sofa, and sleep there for the night. _Yes, _he thought, _this is the start of a wonderful friendship._

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**No one's really posted anything here, so I figured I'd give it a whack. Ta-Da! Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

The Cat in the Hat was very pleased with his job. He got to travel all around the world and help children with extraordinary imaginations reach their full potential. The Things decided that this was an acceptable job for them, too. So, they were three good friends, seeing the sights, and unleashing Thinks on the world. They chose someone with potential; someone who had big plans. They took their time choosing.

"So, either Mushalli Mukkuk, or Jojo Mayor, you two." Thing One looked at Thing Two and made his decision. They each pointed to the picture of the child they wanted. Thing One wanted Mushalli and Thing Two wanted Jojo. They looked at each other, and narrowed their eyes to slits. Then they took off through the house, racing to see whose decision they went with. Thing Two slid into their office a few minutes later, with Thing One coming in second. "All right, you two. Off to Who!"

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The train ride was great fun in the Cat's opinion, but it was chaos to the conductor and passengers. The first part, the Things went in to the dining car. There, they cooked all kinds of dishes for the people. When they got bored, they stopped and moved on. However, when the chef came to make lunch, he found full bellies and a very messy kitchen.

After cooking, they decided to clean themselves up. So they headed to the bathroom. Thing Two had the idea of a water fight to get clean. The Cat pulled out his soakamatron and attached it to the faucet. Instantly, they were soaking, and there was water flying everywhere! The trio splashed and frolicked until they were clean. The Cat folded up the soakamatron and they dried themselves off. Then they headed to the passenger cars to see if they could make any friends.

There were a few children in the passenger car, but it was mostly adults going to work. So, they decided to spruce up their commute. The Cat pulled out a Sloofa Horn and started playing.

Now, the special thing about a Sloofa Horn is that it makes people want to dance. All the children in the boxcar got up and started to dance. This made the Cat very happy. However, the adults just stared off into space. You see, their imaginations had been repressed for far too long, and they simply saw nothing. The four children followed the Things into the second passenger car, which was quite empty. There they played, and had lots of fun until they came to Who. There, they said goodbye, and disembarked. The trio decided to stay for the night in the Who Hotel, where they would plan out their strategy.

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Now, it so happens that Who was not really on the train stop. The Cat had to use a bit of magic and cleverness to get them there. You see, train service does not extend to dust specks, and that was where Who was. One of the reasons that they selected Jojo was that his hometown was in trouble. He also had a very, very promising mind that could help to save his tiny world.

After four pots of coffee, they decided on a plan. Thing One ran around posting papers on the walls, its electric blue hair all askew. The Cat read off the items. "Okay, Jojo likes picking up things. He also likes stripes. So, I leave my hat somewhere he'll find it, and he picks it up, thereby getting sucked into our world."

Thing Two vigorously nodded its approval.

"Wonderful! Since we have a big day tomorrow, let's see if we can get some sleep. Despite the coffee."

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End file.
